The New York Times is reporting that Mohammed al-Qahtani was “tortured” at Gitmo. Qahtani is accused of conspiring with Kahalid Shaikh Mohammed in the terrorist attacks of September 11th and is described as a “very dangerous man.”

The New York Times, sympathizing with a man who conspired to murder thousands of Americans, respectfully refers to him as Mr. Qahtani throughout the entire article.

The Times lists the “torture” to which the human scum was subjected.

1. Prolonged Isolation

2. Sleep Deprivation

3. Forced Nudity

4. Exposure to Cold

5. Involuntary Grooming

6. Forced to Dance with Another Man

7. Forced to Bark Like a Dog

The good news for Qahtani is that what he endured is identical to most American college pledge weeks and he now qualifies as the newest honorary member of the Alpha Delta Chi fraternity at the University of Southern Idaho.

There is still no confirmation on whether or not he was forced to do a bong hit.