It was hard to resist the title of “Dude, Where’s my State Department?”

I know I’m going out on a limb here by asking this question but…. What the hell qualifies Ashton Kutcher for work in United States diplomacy?

Perhaps you, like me, were forcefully encouraged to see the new movie “Valentines Day” last weekend. In the course of diplomacy, perhaps you, too, said that it was a wonderful movie.

You will be fascinated, then, to discover that the movie’s star, Ashton Kutcher, has become a U.S. government diplomat.

No, not one of those who takes an overseas posting, sleeps with women who are not his wife, and, having embarrassed himself by dropping his trousers at an official function, is forced to function at a slightly lower level for the remainder of his career.

According to the LA Times, Kutcher is being sent by the State Department to Russia as part of a tech delegation that aims to use its bits to foster diplomacy with that particularly bearish, bullish part of the world.

I feel so much better about American foreign policy now that I know this! Hey, I have a few other suggestions as long as we’re setting this new standard for diplomacy.

Let’s send Pauly Shore to the middle east as a special envoy to the Taliban.

How about sending Michael Moore to Ethiopia to assess the famine situation?

Perhaps Janeane Garofalo would like to visit Saudi Arabia to talk about equal rights for women? I’m sure that would go over well.

Do you have any suggestions? Leave them in the comments section.

Just think of this post as Rule 5 + Law & Order.

You may remember Angie Harmon as the beautiful but tough Assistant DA, Abbie Carmichael on Law & Order, but did you know she’s a Conservative and a Sarah Palin fan?

“Harmon is fully supportive of Sarah Palin running for President in 2012.”

“If she wants to, I think she’s great,” Harmon told Tarts at the recent Rodeo Drive Walk of Style event in Beverly Hills. “I think she’s a woman who has her own set of values and morals and ethics and has the courage to live her life accordingly. I admire that.”

Ahem. I’d like to enter a plea of “guilty.” Click the images to enlarge.

For a bonus picture, CLICK HERE.

Finally, here’s a video of Angie Harmon at a Hollywood event where she’s asked for her opinion on Lindsay Lohan. She responds with total class.

What disguise, Angelina?

Us Weekly reports:

“Barack Obama does not have Angelina Jolie’s seal of approval.”

“She hates him,” a source close to the U.N. goodwill ambassador, 34, tells the new issue of Us Weekly on newsstands now.”

“She’s into education and rehabilitation and thinks Obama is all about welfare and handouts. She thinks Obama is really a socialist in disguise,” adds the source.”

“But don’t expect to see the Salt actress rally against Democrats on Fox News like her staunch Republican father, Jon Voight.

“Angie isn’t Republican, but she thinks Obama is all smoke and mirrors,” the source says.”

Allahpundit seems surprised by this news:

“Any reason to believe this story might be true (apart from her patrilineage)? Why, yes: Not only did she famously call for the United States to stay put in Iraq in order to avert a humanitarian disaster but she was officially undecided on last year’s election until fairly late in the game. The seeds are there, people. They just need to be nurtured.”

Frankly this news isn’t surprising when you consider that Angelina Jolie is a long time fan of Ayn Rand. Jolie has been angling since as far back as 2006 to play Dagny Taggart in a film adaptation of Atlas Shrugged.

“Lionsgate has picked up worldwide distribution rights to “Atlas Shrugged” from Howard and Karen Baldwin (“Ray”), who will produce with John Aglialoro.”

“As for stars, book provides an ideal role for an actress in lead character Dagny Taggart, so it’s not a stretch to assume Rand enthusiast Angelina Jolie’s name has been brought up. Brad Pitt, also a fan, is rumored to be among the names suggested for lead male character John Galt.”

I have a feeling that if Ayn Rand was still alive, she would also say Obama is a socialist. I doubt however, she’d say he was disguising it.

In Cuba, I mean. He’s headed there to interview his favorite commie dictator for Vanity Fair Magazine.

Via Breitbart:

“Oscar-winning actor and political activist Sean Penn flew to Cuba hoping to interview its revolutionary icon Fidel Castro, entertainment news website TMZ reported Sunday.”

“Sean (Penn) is going to the land of Fidel as a journalist, writing a story for Vanity Fair (magazine) about how the (Barack) Obama administration has affected Cuba,” TMZ reported.”

“Penn was traveling with Diana Jenkins: “Actually … it’s her plane … she’s married to the head honcho at Barclays bank,” TMZ added, noting the pair set out from Las Vegas on Saturday.”

“Barclays sources say Sean and Diana are going to meet (Fidel) Castro — presumably because that’s what Diana told them,” the website reported. Penn’s representative also told TMZ a meeting was possible.”

Anyone else as sick as I am of know-it-all rich celebrities sucking up to America hating communists?

You want to impress me, Mr. Penn? Go visit our troops in Iraq or Afghanistan and thank them for defending your right to make movies and spend your wealth visiting scumbags like Castro and Chavez.

Otherwise, do us all a favor and stay in Cuba. You obviously think it’s a better place than America.

The raging national debate on healthcare is finally going to be solved. President Obama has enlisted a crack team of healthcare experts a bunch of Hollywood celebrities to fix everything.

“WASHINGTON (AP) – President Barack Obama is enlisting Hollywood celebrities including actress Rosario Dawson and musician Will.I.Am to draw attention to his health care overhaul agenda.”

“The performers will act as celebrity judges for a TV commercial contest set up by Organizing for America, the Obama political organization that’s part of the Democratic National Committee.”

“Organizing for America last month invited supporters to create and submit 30-second ads in support of remaking health care. The winning one will be aired nationally.”

“In addition to Dawson and Will.I.Am, the panel of judges being announced by Organizing for America Wednesday consists of actors John Cho, Dule Hill, Brandon Routh, Kate Walsh and Olivia Wilde, and “Family Guy” creator Seth MacFarlane.”

Don’t you feel better already? After all, who is more qualified to weigh in on the healthcare debate than a bunch of shallow millionaires from the entertainment industry? Isn’t it also comforting to know that the DNC cares so much about healthcare that they’re willing to enlist your favorite celebrities to prove it?

A writer at Andrew Breitbart’s Big Government blog named Jon David has produced a video response to Will Ferrell’s contributions to the healthcare debate. It’s called “Just Act.”

I couldn’t agree more.

Stop me if you’ve heard this one before…

Three traveling terrorists approach a farmhouse and demand food and lodging from the farmer. The farmer says no, causing the terrorists to attack him.

The farmer’s daughter jumps out from under a bed, hacks one of them with an axe, disarms him and then goes postal with his AK47.

Gotta love those farmers’ daughters…

“Rukhsana Kausar, 21, was with her parents and brother in Jammu and Kashmir when three gunmen, believed to be Pakistani militants, forced their way in and demanded food and beds for the night.”

“When they forced their way into Miss Kausar’s home, her father Noor Mohammad refused their demands and was attacked.”

“His daughter was hiding under a bed when she heard him crying as the gunmen thrashed him with sticks. According to police, she ran towards her father’s attacker and struck him with an axe. As he collapsed, she snatched his AK47 and shot him dead.”

“She also shot and wounded another militant as he made his escape.”

“Police have hailed the woman’s bravery.”

Good for her.

The police were right to praise her bravery.

It’s a good thing Miss Kausar wasn’t attacked by a European film director. Otherwise, Hollywood elites and the Washington Post would probably blame her for encouraging the attack.

More coverage at Memeorandum.

Roman Polanski should go to jail.

Thirty-two years ago when he was 43 years old, he drugged and raped a 13 year old girl in the State of California. He broke the law and he acknowledged his guilt but fled the country before he could be sentenced.

In spite of what is being said by his defenders, it doesn’t matter at all that the rape occured 32 years ago.

No one in America would object the prosecution of a Catholic Priest who molested a 13 year old in 1977, even if the crime was discovered as late as 2009. Polanski’s crime has been known for the last 32 years.

No one would protest the prosecution of such a priest even if the abuse survivor said he or she said they didn’t want their attacker to be held accountable, as Polanski’s victim has stated.

We are a nation of laws and everyone is supposed to be equal under the law. Our laws apply to movie directors as well as priests.

Still, there are people who have rushed to defend Polanski’s heinous actions.

The Washington Post’s Anne Applebaum delivered a passionate defense of Polanski without disclosing the fact that her husband is a Polish Official who is actively fighting for Polanski’s defense, a fact uncovered by internet press watchdogs at Patterico.

There’s Harvey Weinstein, the co-founder of Miramax films:

“Weinstein entered the fray at the personal behest of Cannes film festival director Thierry Fremaux and will now use his considerable influence and campaigning heft to enlist the support of Hollywood.”

“We’re calling on every film-maker we can to help fix this terrible situation,” Weinstein said, reviving a theme he adopted earlier in the year after he bought international distribution rights at Sundance to the HBO documentary Roman Polanski: Wanted and Desired.”

There’s Joan Z. Shore of The Huffington Post who blames the rape victim for seducing her attacker:

“The 13-year old model “seduced” by Polanski had been thrust onto him by her mother, who wanted her in the movies. The girl was just a few weeks short of her 14th birthday, which was the age of consent in California. (It’s probably 13 by now!) Polanski was demonized by the press, convicted, and managed to flee, fearing a heavy sentence.”

(One has to wonder if Joan Z. Shore has daughters and also if she would be OK with them being raped at age 13 by a 43 year old man if they had “seduced” him.)

Then there’s Whoopi Goldberg, who played a rape victim in “The Color Purple” and says of Polanski’s crime, “It wasn’t rape-rape.”

“I know it wasn’t rape-rape. It was something else but I don’t believe it was rape-rape. He went to jail and and when they let him out he was like ‘You know what, this guy’s going to give me a hundred years in jail I’m not staying,’ so that’s why he left.”

One is left to wonder why Roman Polanski is so special among Hollywood types who are convicted of rape.

In 2004 Scott Bairstow, a star of the TV show “Party of Five” then 33 years old, was convicted of raping a 12 year old girl. He served a prison sentence of just four months.

“EVERETT — Hollywood star Scott Bairstow and his attorney told a sentencing judge yesterday that the actor’s time behind bars is threatening to cut into his time before the camera.”

“Out of sight, out of mind has never been more true than in the entertainment industry,” said Mitchell Egers, the Los Angeles attorney representing 33-year-old Bairstow.”

“The California actor, whose big-screen credits include “Tuck Everlasting” and “The Bone Snatcher,” pleaded guilty in December to second-degree assault of a young girl, a plea acknowledging he assaulted the victim with intent of second-degree molestation.”

“Yesterday Snohomish County Superior Court Judge Linda Krese sentenced the actor to four months behind bars.”

The damning evidence against Bairstow came in the form of a phone call between him and his accuser, which was recorded by police:

The following conversation was recorded by police last month after the girl told her family about the alleged sexual abuse, according to charging documents filed by prosecutors:

Bairstow: OK. Um, I mean, ho, how are you feeling, are ya, are, are you mad?

Girl: Um. I don’t know. I think it’s affected me in a lot of ways, but …

Bairstow: It has?

Girl: Yeah. I don’t know. I don’t really know what to feel, ya know?

Bairstow: Have you told anyone?

Girl: No, but I’m thinking maybe I should.

Bairstow: K, um, why are you thinking that?

Girl: I don’t know. I just, I don’t know. You don’t think I should tell anyone?

Bairstow: Well … I’m like a dad, and I’ve got a job, and if you were to tell anyone, I would be thrown in jail for 10 years.

Girl: Are you serious?

Bairstow: Yeah, yeah, I’m not kidding around … it would destroy my life.

Another case of a Hollywood film director who served jail time for a similar crime is Victor Salva, who made the popular horror films Jeepers Creepers and Jeepers Creepers II. Prior to making those movies, in 1998 at the age of thirty, Salva was convicted of molesting a 12 year old boy, a crime for which he was sentenced to 10 years in prison.

“He’d just made “Clownhouse,” a low budget horror film about three boys terrorized by circus clowns, that screened at Sundance and was bankrolled by Francis Ford Coppola, then one of the most influential filmmakers in Hollywood. To shoot the movie, Coppola even gave Salva the cameras George Lucas had used to make “American Graffiti.”

“But in 1988, as he was fielding offers to make high-profile studio films, Salva was charged with having oral sex with 12-year-old Nathan Forrest Winters, while directing the boy in the movie.”

“After confessing to the crime, Salva was sentenced to three years in state prison, serving 15 months before his release in 1989.”

These men were found guilty of rape and served surprisingly short prison sentences for their crimes. Roman Polanski admitted to his crime and his lived a charmed life of privelege for thirty-two years.

No Hollywood or politically connected advocacy can change the bottom line.

Roman Polanski raped a 13 year old girl.

Roman Polanski should have gone to jail 32 years ago.

Even the LA Times is now conceding that the Los Angeles District Attorney’s office made multiple attempts to arrest Polanski over the years.

“A spokeswoman for the district attorney’s office declined to comment on what role if any the court filings by Polanski’s attorneys played in the arrest. But the office produced a list of eight instances since 1978 in which prosecutors took steps to apprehend Polanski.”

“Those attempts were not successful. This attempt was,” spokeswoman Sandi Gibbons said.”

The question of the man’s guilt was settled over 30 years ago.

It’s time for Roman Polanski to go to jail.

Follow up reading:

Kate Harding at Salon.com “Reminder: Roman Polanski Raped a Child”

More at Memeorandum.

So Says I Hate The Media:

“One would hope this story would sound a very loud alarm in Hollywood: More than 100 prisoners in Iraq face execution after reportedly being convicted of the crime of “being gay.”

“According to Ali Hili of Iraqi-LGBT, Iraq will begin executing them in groups of 20 starting this week. The London-based group believes 128 executions are imminent. They’re asking the UK Government, human rights groups and the UN Human Rights Commission to step in and stop “this tragic miscarriage of justice.”

Hollywood can’t step in to help because Hollywood is too busy with other things:

“Iranian officials have said a Hollywood delegation should say sorry for films viewed as “insulting” to their country.”

“President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad’s cultural advisor said Iranian film-makers should refuse to meet the group, which includes actress Annette Bening.”

Hollywood is trying to make friends with an enemy to freedom.

Hollywood should shut up until it understands the issues.

Americans should speak up for gay people in Iraq.

Did you hear that $246 Million of the big pork stimulus bill was designated for Hollywood?  I’m sure that would have bought a lot of sushi. Mostly, it left average Americans wondering what, if anything, that had to do with creating jobs. Answer: NOTHING.

This was all about payback for Dem support as correctly pointed out at Hot Air earlier today.

The good news is an amendment to strip this from the stimulus plan passed. Hot Air now has an update that even shows who voted for and against, check it out.

This doesn’t necessarily mean Hollywood will start making better movies. It just means your tax dollars won’t be paying for Air Bud Part III.

I wonder if all those smug idiots in Hollywood will keep their stupid pledge to Obama?

Besides, if Hollywood would get off it’s know-it-all high horse and just be entertaining, they wouldn’t need pork money.

People might go to the movies more often if they got back to making stuff that was this funny:

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N9-HHe0Ni9E&hl=en&fs=1]

Well well well, it looks like Hollywood is going to be the next industry in line to gorge themselves at the troth of the American taxpayer.

That would certainly explain the suddenly new found patriotism so many of these jerks are currently feeling.

Perhaps if they stopped making so many movies with the message that America sucks, people would be more apt to buy tickets.

Come to think of it, it might also help if so many celebrities stopped hanging around with avowed enemies of the United States.

I know what you’re thinking though. That would be too hard.

Hollywood has found it’s just too easy to use the same old tired memes over and over, hell they’ve even started to just recycle movies they made 20 or 30 years ago rather than coming up with something new and original.

I guess we can now assume to know why so many in la la land are lining up to “serve their president.”